The apostle Paul says, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church.
Yet Jesus says, unless you hate your wife you cannot be My disciple.
Both cannot be TRUE, at least one of these statements must be incorrect, doesn't it? How can we love someone sacrificially like Jesus loved, when that very Jesus says we cannot be His disciple (follower) unless we hate our family members (Luke 14:26)?
Is this a deal breaker, or maybe just an excuse to "spiritualize" parts of the Bible which we don't want to, or don't think is possible to, fully understand? The simplistic response is to say, "In comparison to our loving Jesus, it should appear as if we hate our family members."
It is easy to see how some will say the Bible is full of contradictions while others say the Bible is completely inerrant. Yet, whether doubting, unknowing, or upholding, Scripture presents all people with the exact same dichotomy.
We've all heard, "The Bible is not true, it's full of contradictions."
This claim stems from either someone simply repeating what they have been told or these claims are derived from a shallow understanding of what God is actually communicating.
But the Bible has withstood generations of highly educated and enlightened people intent on bringing such "silliness" to an end. A little research into such pursuits (such as Sir William Ramsay, Dr. Simon Greenleaf, C.S. Lewis, Anthony Flew, Lee Strobel...) will show that the more someone looks, the more Scripture is vindicated and people are changed.
This article does not deal with apologetics (providing evidence to unbelievers). Whether to believe or not isn't the problem, since we are told that God is inexcusably evident in what has been Created. Even whether the Bible is contradictory or not isn't the problem, Scripture has withstood centuries of criticism. But TRUTH presents a different choice...
What is it about the parables of Jesus, which are for some but not others, that prevents the latter from understanding?
Jesus replied, "For this reason I speak to them in parables, because seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand." - Matthew 13:13
What attribute is within fallen mankind, which the unrepentant retain, that makes them unable to derive the truth that Jesus has brought and is espousing?
This should be a frightening question in light of the abundant self-reliance and arrogance that people are born and raised with. As with hating our family members, we can simply say that my understanding is a result of the Holy Spirit's inspiration, and those who disagree or don't know are simply unenlightened, deaf, and blind.
Yet, as we witness countless disputes within orthodoxy which divide Christians into sets and subsets, why do you or i so easily dismiss Paul's words of warning?
"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." - Philippians 2:13
Obviously, it is because they are wrong, and we are right.
DICHOTOMY:
The dichotomy is not in believing what is true (either this or that), or in accepting that there is only one prevailing truth or an entire array of subjective truths. The dichotomy is not the choice in whether to believe the Bible is contradictory or infallible.
These issues are actually settled for all of eternity, validated through abounding evidence within the created realm, and through being innate within each human conscience.
"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God will stand forever." - Isaiah 40:8
"They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them." - Romans 2:15
The Dichotomy placed before each professing believer is the same as what is before each disillusioned denier...
The choice of whether my understanding yields to (and is conformed by) God's truth, or whether i suppress or conform God's truth by relying on my understanding.
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness." - Romans 1:18
We see this choice played out within humanity, God's classroom for teaching and training. Where people are willing to accept and uphold the absurd despite the devastating consequences to mind, body, and spirit. Where people are manipulated and conformed to either agree or remain in silence to that which this World promotes as truth.
"Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools... They exchanged the truth of God for a lie... They did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God... They not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." - Romans 1:20-32
A dichotomy is a division between two contrasting realities. Jesus brings this division (dichotomy) between Worldly and Godly, but also between Theory and Practice.
Jesus explained, "Do not think I have come to bring peace on the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household." - Matthew 10:34-36
People are the only creatures that God created which can reason and can choose. Does a shark "sin" when it eats a swimmer? No, because the shark can only function as a shark, it has no reasoning skills to do otherwise. A swimmer splashes along the top of the water, a shark sees him or her, and depending on whether it's hungry or not, will do what a shark does.
God presents all humanity with undeniable and inexcusable truth, both innately (law on our heart) and rationally (He places before you).
But God is a being of radiant love, and love without choice is neither genuine nor sincere. God the Father chose to send His only Son to a rebellious and wayward people... motivated by His love. God the Son chose to become flesh and dwell among us, and to lay down His life for many... motivated by His love.
These actions demonstrate a lifestyle adversely juxtaposed to ours, which portrays an opposing worldview... and the dichotomy was magnified.
The ultimate dichotomy is whether we relate to God's truth through the mind (reasoning) of Adam or through the mind of Christ. Through our temporal perspective or His eternal one. Choosing to eternally love GOD or choosing to temporally love SELF.
"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 2:5
"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world." - 1 John 2:15
It is the very love for self, our innate passion for self-preservation and self-exaltation, which shape how we receive and function under the objective truth of the Lord. This very dichotomy played out between the religiously devout and the Word become flesh. Jesus said and did simple things which infuriated those who knew with absolute certainty what God had told His people.
They complained to Jesus, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?"
Jesus answered, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance." - Mark 2:16-17
The choice for the religious leaders and their followers, was to love self by conforming Scripture to that which benefits me, my, mine, OR to understand God's truth and become conformed in light of denying self and loving others (the least of these).
The obvious question before every confessing believer is why does Jesus's lifestyle contrast so profoundly to my lifestyle? What did He know which illuded His disciples?
Jesus rebuked Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man." - Mark 8:33
THEROY or PRACTICE:
Do we live our lives the same this year as last, resting in our understanding and assurance of salvation? Do we rely on extremely astute and dedicated theologians and teachers (our favorites), confident in their understanding.
"For when one says, 'I follow Paul,' and another, 'I follow Apollos,' are you not mere human beings?" - 1 Corinthians 3:4
Do we divide Scripture in a way which benefits our self (me, my, mine), or in a way which leads to Christlikeness (sacrificial others-focused love)? How can we dismiss or marginalize the very truth which Jesus demonstrated for us? Even when comparing the early Church with today's modern Church, we see an obvious dichotomy in how the two function. Which one more closely mirrors what Jesus the Christ lived and taught? Which more closely aligns with the Greatest and Newest Commands of God?
God placed truth within the human heart, God presented truth through prophets and teachers which He validated by evidence (supernatural miracles). God gave us Scripture as an Owner's manual, and the Law as a schoolmaster. Yet mankind could not grasp nor accept the meaning and truth for which the Creator was conveying... So, God did the unthinkable, the amazing, and the glorious. He became flesh to live among us and SHOW us what God's truth meant.
Jesus was our object lesson in Truth.
So, how do we understand what appears to be to be the obvious contradiction between Paul and Jesus. To either love or to hate our wife?
We look at how the World deals with this subject, where nepotistic love is the obvious standard.
We witness and reason how this nepotistic love for me, my, and mine, effects our obedience to Loving God with ALL, and Loving one another JUST as Christ loved us.
We look at the influence that the Apostles had on the early Church in contrast to the practices of our modern Church.
Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. And with great power the apostles gave witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And great grace was upon them all. Nor was there anyone among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each as anyone had need. - Acts 4:32-35
This world builds and protects me, my, and mine's standard of living to the neglect of the genuinely needy (which Jesus said will always be with us).
We contrast the actions of those on His left to those on His right, what differentiated the two groups (Matthew 25:31-41)?
As "image bearers" we must reason what best mirrors the actions of our Creator.
And most of all, we watch how Jesus lived out and explained TRUTH for us to glean from...
While speaking to the crowds, His mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to Him. Someone told Him, "Look, Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You."
But Jesus replied, "Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?" Pointing to His disciples, He said, "Here are My mother and My brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother." - Matthew 12:46-50; Mark 3:31-35: Luke 8:19-21
How does this play out in the dichotomy of our hearts and minds? Do we conform God's truth to our natural desires to first and foremost protect and promote family, or do we see a greater conviction at play which will conform our temporal desires to God's eternal one? Where a type of sacrificial and selfless love (which Jesus displayed) vastly supersedes our best attempt at loving someone else, usually relegated to being within our marriage or our family.
Jesus taught, "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like angels in heaven." - Matthew 22:30
At the resurrection there will no longer be a division between Worldly and Godly, between what i desire and what He desires...
"But the married man and married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please their spouse, and their interests are divided. While the unmarried man or woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 7:33-34
So, what was Paul teaching? Love your wives as Christ loved the Church, sacrificially meeting her needs over your current greeds of self.
And what was Jesus teaching? Hate the love of self (greed) which is prevalent within family.
That to love as He showed us far surpasses our current best efforts to love another human being as the world loves.
As we yield to the obvious, sanctification which produces the evidence of transformation will show that we are indeed on the narrow path, following the One who redeemed our very souls.
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