Why are there males and females, and why the union of marriage?
Why does a man and woman unite and produce offspring and form a family?
Answer: Because God designed it that way... for a PURPOSE.
The Purpose of Marriage
Why was it "not good" that Adam be alone, and how was Eve a helper "suitable" for him?
(Genesis 2:18)
Why was Eve made as a "weaker" vessel? (1 Peter 3:7)
We instinctively default to our present-day experience and reasoning... that Adam was lonely, and that Eve did not need the physicality which the man's tasks required.
But Adam was a perfect man, living in a perfect environment, and had perfect communion with his Maker.
Yet, what we now know (in retrospect) what Adam did not know then, that ALL of God's purpose for His creation is based on and flows from, "Loving the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul, all our strength, and with all your mind." - Luke 10:27
Quite literally all that Adam was, had, and experienced came from God's pure love for him; and he (being made in God's likeness and image) was to reflect pure love back to God with all his heart, with all his soul, with all his strength, and with all his mind.
Pure Love is sacrificial (John 15:13), taking from mine and meeting the need of another; but Adam had no means of loving a God who needs nothing.
It was not good for Adam to be alone because he had no way to obediently love an all-sufficient God. So, God made someone who needed Adam to sacrificially love them. Not physically equal to Adam, but someone more fragile and precious for Adam to provide for. Likewise, Eve could sacrificially love her husband by devoting herself to him.
Adam and Eve loved God through loving the other, just as Jesus loved God through loving His followers.
"Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it for Me." - Matthew 25:40
Eve enabled Adam to love God, and Adam was the means by which Eve could love God.
God flowed His love abundantly to each, which enabled them to likewise flow their love to another...
"We love because He first loved us." - 1 John 4:19
But love without choice is not genuine, so the God of love placed a choice in their garden... "The abundance is yours, just this one thing do I declare off limits." (Genesis 2:15-17)
Sin was humanity's first act of disobedience against the substance that would later be titled "The Great Command".
Man and woman each chose to love SELF over loving God, which Christ (the Second Adam) obediently refrained from ever doing (despite temptations and suffering).
So, what effect did sin have on Marriage, and subsequently Family, which would provoke Jesus to make the following statement...
"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." -Luke 14:26-27
Does the Apostle Paul contradict Jesus? "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her..." - Ephesians 5:25
Again, we default to our present-day perspective and say that in contrast to loving our Lord, it should appear that we hate those which we love most.
Yet we are never told to appear to hate our neighbor in contrast to loving God.
What aspect does Jesus target which exists within family, that does not exist outside of family?
We know that God hates SIN, so likewise would call His children to do also...
So, what SIN abides in these family relationships that we think are extremely loving?
WHOLESOME:
What evidence is there that we know what Christ-like love is, that we know how to prioritize the needs of another above ourselves and live sacrificially as Jesus did?
Most people would point to family as their prime expression of devotion and love; "My spouse's and children's needs are above my own."
Yes, we know what sacrificial love is.
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God created marriage and family to pull you out of loving yourself with the love that He blesses your life with, and to actually disseminate His love through you to others.
Yet, this is not the only time we are called (literally commanded) to Love like Christ.
Our Lord declares, ""A new command I give you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another." - John 13:34
So why is our expression of love and dedication greater to someone within a worldly family than it is to someone within the eternal family?
Quite simply the quantifier... MY
"My wife, My husband, My kid, My mom, or My dad."
The very institution that was designed by our Creator to draw us away from self, and felicitate our loving Him through loving others, became perverted into being a sanctuary for self.
Family was designed to draw us away (cleanse and sanctify us) from not only the outward expressions of sin, but also root of sin which is SELF. Husbands were to help the sanctification process by using Scripture learn, identify, and cleanse their wife from self. Wives were to help husbands also conform from self and become others focused. Parents were to train up their children in the way they should go... Deny self, live by faith, serve God.
A person (male or female/adult or child) was to derive their value solely by looking at the cross of Christ, and life's purpose was in following His way of living out LOVE; meeting the needs of others while having faith in the Lord's love and promises for us.
Instead, we follow the world's pattern and promote esteeming self.
Within family we have the propensity to hoard God's blessings to improve OUR standard of living.
Within family we instill traits into our kids that Jesus commands adults to deny.
We dismiss Jesus's warning about riches and pursue the American Dream of a child's standard of living surpassing our own. Beauty, Brains, Brawn are attributes which evoke value and pride, "Not for me... for my kid!"
We take pride in our family's accomplishments and personal goals, in our house and vehicles, in our trips and vacations, our retirement accounts; the very trappings that prevent the wealthy from finding the Kingdom (Matthew 19:24).
"My wife deserves this..." "My husband deserves this..." "My kids will be thrilled by this..."
As long as mama's happy, the kids are well mannered, and daddy gets some ME time, we are satisfied.
CONSCIENCE is appeased by attending Church and doing random acts of Charity. But the only difference between this year and last is being older, and our transformation into thinking and acting like our Savior plateaus, God's blessings are received then stagnate within FAMILY.
Self finds safe harbor within the white picket fences.
HOLY:
"But like the Holy One who called you, you also be holy in all your conduct..." - 1 Peter 1:15
Meditate upon these words...
"Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
"Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:10, 33
Jesus ushered in the Kingdom of LOVE. He demonstrated what it means to "take up your cross" (live sacrificially for others), and COMMANDS those who are His to do likewise... by following His example.
Pure LOVE of the Kingdom supersedes Worldly love.
Kingdom Love motivated the Pilgrims to leave children behind and embark on a journey pursuing freedom of worship and reformation within the Christian faith.
Kingdom Love motivated Christ followers to create hospitals and orphanages to care for the aged, sick, and needy.
Kingdom Love motivated Christ followers to create Universities and Schools to more effectively prepare individuals for God's service.
Harvard's motto, "Truth for Christ and the Church."
Yale's motto, "Light and Truth."
Dartmouth's motto, "The voice of one crying in the wilderness."
Princeton's motto, "Under God's power she flourishes on."
Kingdom Love motivated the Founding Fathers to set aside their wealth and security for the minute possibility of creating the most benevolent nation in human history.
Kingdom Love has motivated Missionaries and Martyrs to forsake this world's pleasures.
Kingdom Love for one another far surpasses marital and family love...
To the widow who had married seven brothers, Jesus was asked, "At the resurrection, whose wife will she be?"
For which Jesus replied, "your question is ignorant because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. In the kingdom there will be no marriage." - Matthew 22:29-30
Jesus asked, "Who is my family?" Then pointing to His disciples He said, "Here is my family. For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother, sister, and mother." - Matthew 12:48-50
You may ask, "How did we go from family to America's founding fathers?"
Those men, along with the others mentioned, demonstrated laying down their lives (personal pleasures) for the sake of a BIGGER MISSION, far beyond themselves. A mission that, simply by reading their writings, was steeped in Biblical knowledge and obedience to Christ their Lord.
FAMILY was for sustenance and preparation. Husband helped wife, wife helped husband, and parents trained their children... all for Kingdom Service.
"Family" was not the focal point to existence; it merely served a vital ROLE.
God's provisional love and blessing was not to intended to be absorbed by family, and family bonds were not intended to supersede those within our eternal family.
Listen to Jesus's words... "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life." - Matthew 19:29
Just imagine relationships in which you cannot be offended, where you can perceive someone's needs even through harsh words or unkind actions...
"To grieve with those who grieve, rejoice with those who rejoice." - Romans 12:15
To even...
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." - Matthew 5:44
Imagine loving relationships so rooted in being "others focused" that each is void of personal desire or expectation. That you love them as they love you, and God is praised continually for His FAITHFUL love and grace.
Now imagine two people, a group of people, a nation of people, or even a world full of people loving like that...
"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
That would be so radical that others would call you "crazy".
Before we confess Christ as Lord we're told to "count the cost"... a true disciple is required to relinquish all loving as the world loves and instead "love as He loved."
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him... but he who does the will of God abides forever." - 1 John 2:15,17
"By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:35
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